TITLE OF NOBILITY, $8,017.44
Renaissance Man (or Woman) Rule No. 1: A vague connection to royalty adds intrigue. Say your name out loud. Now say it with "Baroness" or "Lord" in front. Sound good? While most titles must be granted by royal decree, some are available for purchase, provided there aren't any living heirs to the one you want. It's all legal, and the title can even be bequeathed to the next generation. (Title Research Services, 44-1903-879350, titleresearch.ndo.co.uk)
METROPOLITAN OPERA TICKETS, $5,600
Rule No. 2: Appreciation of the arts is essential. And while anybody with a disposable income can go to the opera, not anybody can go to the opera 10 nights a year -- weekend nights, no less -- and take in the arias from the best seats at the best house in the world, complete with private champagne bar and locked anteroom. (Metropolitan Opera, 212-362-6000, metopera.org)
FIRST EDITION POETRY $73,100
Rule No. 3: All Renaissance people know poetry. Stocking your shelf with first editions of Byron's Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, Shelley's Queen Mab and The Masque of Anarchy, and Whitman's Leaves of Grass will impress -- but not as much as when you recite the canto you've committed to memory. (Bauman Rare Books, 800-992-2862, baumanrarebooks.com)
COOKING LESSONS, $31,202.92
Rule No. 4: The Renaissance person can cook anything. Le Cordon Bleu, the internationally renowned culinary school, speaks for itself. Nevertheless, we'll add a few words: After nine months, you'll be expert at French cuisine; all the instructors are master chefs; Dustin Hoffman and Jacques Chirac are alums; and they have locations on five continents. But like we said, it speaks for itself. (And so does your $24,524.89 ingredients budget -- remember, this has to equal a million.) (Le Cordon Bleu, 800-457-2433, cordonbleu.edu)
ITALIAN CULTURAL TRAINING, $2,265.75 Rule No. 5: All Renaissance people worth their tweed have a working knowledge of the actual Renaissance. The art, the language, the culture, the gnocchi -- tutti. Located along the Piazza Santa Croce in Florence, "the Renaissance city," this school offers a six-month course that will bring you up to speed. (Scuola Toscana, 39-055-244583, scuola-toscana.com)
RARE VIOLIN, $850,000
Rule No. 6: Musical proficiency is a must. A Stradivarius would not fit your profile -- too showy. (Plus, you'd be hard-pressed to find one for less than a million, spoiling the whole concept of this column.) The Guadagnini is known as the "poor man's Strad." Not many remain, and this one's superfine: Italian craftsmanship, all original parts, and a sound like gold. (Bein & Fushi, 312-663-0150, beinfushi.com)
ARCHERY SET, $3,500
Rule No. 7: You must have a quirky hobby or two. Archery is perfect -- especially when practiced using this 24-karat-gold-and-rosewood set, of which only 12 will be made. When questioned about your peculiar affinity, say "It makes me quiver," and then wink. (3Rivers Archery, 260-587-9501, 3riversarchery.com)
SUIT OF ARMOR, $1,789
Rule No. 8: The Renaissance person's dwelling place is festooned with the trappings of an extraordinary life ... like, say, a 16th-century suit of armor made in Toledo, Spain, of 16-gauge carbon steel. It's an exact replica of the one worn by a Castillian knight, and although it's just for show, the company also sells suits you can wear while riding horses or playing croquet. This one, though, will look perfect next to your taxidermy collection. (Swordsandarmor.com, 706-235-1670)
