Can anyone learn something relevant about negotiating from a quickie book, a seminar, or, uh, a magazine article?
As long as it's clear that most negotiations are nonsimplistic. You can get some insight at one-day seminars, but avoid the ones that promise to teach you 1,001 tricks and traps -- "Keep your back to the wall," "Take the higher chair," "Wear power underwear." You also don't want to go to those that paint negotiating as win-win joint problem solving. The truth is that division and distribution happen in the process, and getting a bigger share of the pie is going to be worth something to you.
What traits do great negotiators have?
The best negotiators can see the forest and deal with individual trees -- move back and forth between the strategic big picture and the tactics deployed. The wording of a clause is important, but how does it fit with the agenda? As the lead U.S. negotiator on Bosnia, Richard Holbrook, stated it, "Firm on goals, flexible on means."
How much time should business negotiators spend on preparation? Do they make 10 calls or 100?
Closer to 10. What differentiates the great negotiators is their ability to learn at the table, rather than before. They use triangulation, asking a question three different ways to test key hypotheses and seeing how the answers line up. This is not cross-examination -- you don't want the other side to put up their defenses. Aggressive questioning is often a mask for insecurity. Many critical questions can't be answered in advance. Concentrate on the soft issues, like the reputations of the people you're going to be dealing with, which you aren't likely to find on the Internet. Ask yourself, "What are the five most important pieces of information that would make a difference in this negotiation and how are we going to get them?"
The second part of preparation is making sure everyone on your side is on the same page about what roles each is going to play. Who is going to be the orchestra leader? Be sure those without much negotiating experience get sufficient training. Your technical people will probably need to be briefed on common pitfalls in negotiating, like being careful about talking with the lovely blond woman from the Russian embassy at the cocktail party.
In what other ways can you prevent leaks from your own side?
You should share information on a need-to-know basis, which is often important anyway so that you don't cause unnecessary internal divisions in advance. Second, you need to teach discipline about not leaving materials around. Third, help your people understand the six degrees of separation -- everyone confides in his or her best friend, who talks with his or her own best friend, and soon it gets over to the opposition.
What is your favorite technique for building a coalition?
Often overlooked is the power of sequencing -- figuring out who defers to whom on critical issues, so that if you get Josephine on board, Horace is likely to come along, too. Try to build momentum in sequencing.
If the other side's first offer is good, is there anything wrong with saying 'It's a deal' -- and not bothering to drag out the talks?
The other side wants to feel good, too. Accepting their first offer means they should have started with a lower one. I use half a dozen outtakes from The Simpsons in my classes, because they teach a lot about negotiation. There's one that shows Homer telling himself, "Reject the first offer. Reject the first offer." Then Mr. Burns asks, "May I offer you a drink?" and Homer responds, "Sorry, Burns, no deal!"
What if both sides are far apart, even bitterly opposed?
First, ask yourself whether a deal really can be done. If emotions are running high, it's time to bring in a neutral mediator. Communicate what the implications are -- do you really want to go forward if it's going to cost half a million in lawyer fees? You just may need a cooling-off period.
What's the difference between bluffing and lying?
Material misrepresentation, even omission, is illegal and is almost a certain path to court and misery. But there are times when you don't need to share something with the other side, such as that you only have two days to close the deal. Saying "I'm offering $20,000 and that's my final offer," is just a negotiating position, not a statement of fact. But only make those sorts of commitments when you can support them or have a plausible explanation if you have to back off.
How can a small company successfully negotiate with a big one?
The reality is that you're seldom going to be on a level playing field. The key thing to understand about elephants is that they have less flexibility and move slower than mice. Big companies have all these internal processes and procedures. It's also psychologically helpful to remember that you're not usually dealing with the whole elephant, you're dealing with a part of it that is interested in what you do. Set up competition between two big companies for what you have. Find out how the people you're dealing with are incentivized; you may have the keys to the kingdom for them.
And what are the disadvantages of being an elephant? It can be nibbled to death by ducks. How do you maintain some overarching control over what you're doing in a host of negotiations?
The globe is shrinking. What do American executives need to know about negotiating in foreign cultures?
The tips like "Don't show the soles of your feet" aren't very helpful, because you'll probably be dealing with sophisticated executives who will not hold a small faux pas against you. But you could get into problems with the communications and cultural issues where people are not so self-aware. Like, what does "yes" really mean? It could mean politeness and a desire for building a relationship. It could mean, "Interesting idea and I'll think about it." Also, what is the relative importance of relationships versus formal contracts? Americans are transaction-focused -- they want to bang out a deal and move on. The Chinese put a greater emphasis on building a relationship. There's power: What kinds of people make the decisions? The people at the table for a Japanese company are probably not going to make final decisions. Displaying impatience with not being able to finish a deal is a sign of weakness and almost always a mistake.
You don't have to become fluent in the other person's language, but if you learn anything about it, you gain insight into their psychology. Read a leading novelist to experience part of their collective imagination. To understand Japan, I read Soseki Natsume's I Am a Cat, which is about the cat's observations of a Japanese family. It was invaluable.
